Elizabeth Taylor asked to be buried near her soul mate Michael Jackson. Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live television fame reckons she found out that her soul mate is co-star Amy Poehler. Ex-Playboy playmate Holly Madison recently said she was still looking for her soul mate … after a number of close encounters.
Everyone talks about finding "the one", meeting their soul mate and getting together with the one person on this planet with whom they were destined to spend the rest of their life. But what exactly does this mean? What exactly is a soul mate? Can it refer to a friendship? And if it refers to a lover, how the heck do you find him or her?
Some believe soul mates are those people who are literally fated to be mates with one another. That there is a preordained person out there for everyone that has something to do with reincarnation and divine beings. Others believe that we can have a number of soul mates during our lifetimes and that it's more of a case of Mr Right now than one Mr Right for life.
Either way, the search is on. Just take a look at the millions of people (including moi) around the world who are hopping online and plugging in their lengthy check lists in the hope that their soul mates will magically pop out in the form of a wink, a date invitation and a lifetime together.
Others spend their free time in bars, nightclubs or at speed dating events in the hope their soul mates will mistakenly knock over their drink, offer to buy them another one and then propose before the night is over.
In fact the soul mate business is so big that in February, The Ultimate Soulmate Summit took place, with thousands of soul mate searchers signing up in the hope of finding true love.
At the summit, 21 self-help gurus got together in cyberspace to guide lonesome souls to finding their perfect match.
Designed to "manifest your soul mate" and to "let go of the walls surrounding your heart" in a 30-day program, the summit also taught rules and made regulations to ensure the lovelorn didn't screw up their chances.
Nauseating? You bet. Desperate? Hell, yes. Did it work? Perhaps it gave hope, but did it bring about "the one" any faster? I doubt it.
Christina Bloom, a New York entrepreneur, says there's another way of doing it. You just need to look for someone with an identical face to your own. That's right, according to her website Facemate (www.findyourfacemate.com), there really is a mathematical equation to finding "the one" using a facial-recognition algorithm that focuses on the eyes, ears, nose, chin, and the corners and centre of the mouth of your potential mate. She uses Heidi Klum and Seal as an example. (Yes, look closely at their facial features and you'll see that they're an identical match.)
Case in point is my girlfriend's romantic story. She's found her soul mate in a man halfway across the world whom she met at his brother's wedding. When she introduced me to him, I was astounded at how similar their faces were. Seriously.
"The heart knows what the heart wants," she wrote in a farewell email to us, telling us about her upcoming departure to go and live in another country with him. They've been dating only a few months. But sometimes, when you know, you just know.
I had dinner with her the other night and, after I complained about another disappointing date, she told me that I'd find the one soon enough. But I wasn't convinced.
"Not everyone gets so lucky," I said. "You can't just assume it's going to happen to everyone."
Maybe I was just being a little cynical. Not to mention jaded, annoyed and bored with the whole dating scene. So I canvassed the opinions of a bunch of married folk to get their thoughts on the matter.
"Is your partner your soul mate?" I asked them. Nine out of 10 said "no".
"We're just too different. But we make it work," was one response.
"I don't believe in that," said another.
Somehow, despite all this, I still believe that it can happen ... to other people. Hence I have come with a soul mate check list ... just in case he magically appears out of nowhere, you will want to know what you're looking for ...
They'll love you for who you are
I spend my days analysing everything to do with dating, mating and relating. I talk to experts and authors and people who have come up with a set of rules and regulations about what to do/say/when to text/call/how to act to nab the guy or girl with tactics and manoeuvres worthy of a military attack. "Be a creature unlike any other" expounds the authors of The Rules. Or "neg" her, put her down and then get any beautiful woman into bed, according to the pick-up artists.
But when you meet your soul mate, all those rules, regulations and game-playing tactics should go out the window. They should embrace you for yourself. And it will be bloody refreshing. You no longer have to worry about not texting them straight back or not calling them at 7am just to tell them you hope they have a great day and are thinking about them in their underwear. Because guess what? The person meant for you likes you more for it.
How to know they're not the right one for you? When you have to question your every move and wonder whether or not something you do will disappoint them, not make yourself seem too eager or watch the timing of every text you send.
They are your best friend
You can tell them anything without fear of censure or judgment. They support and guide you through all your decisions and are there for you through the ups and downs. Soul mates know that chemistry fades and the honeymoon period doesn't last forever. And when you end up spending a lifetime together, you need a strong foundation to fall back on.
You are at the same life stage
Meeting your soul mate is all about timing, whether you like it or not. If you're about to embark on a travel escapade for the next two years and they're ready to settle down and have kids, the timing is off. Perhaps you're just not meant to be. Or perhaps when you're finished with your travelling and they're still single, the stars will align and the two of you will find each other somewhere around the world and things will magically fall into place. Either way you can't force the timing issue, but it sure as hell helps things run smoother.
You feel like you've known each other forever
Whether you've known each other for a couple of weeks like my girlfriend and her new partner, or you've known each other a couple of years, when the two of you are together, it feels like you've known each other for a lifetime. Everything feels so natural, comfortable and brilliant together that you just can't imagine your life apart from them. Or remember a time before they weren't in your life in the first place.
They accept you for who you are
And they don't try to change you. Not one thing about you. They accept your bad (and good) habits, they revel in your foibles and imperfections and they just want to be closer to you on the couch despite your smelly feet or unshaven legs. Now how nice would that be ...
Everyone talks about finding "the one", meeting their soul mate and getting together with the one person on this planet with whom they were destined to spend the rest of their life. But what exactly does this mean? What exactly is a soul mate? Can it refer to a friendship? And if it refers to a lover, how the heck do you find him or her?
Some believe soul mates are those people who are literally fated to be mates with one another. That there is a preordained person out there for everyone that has something to do with reincarnation and divine beings. Others believe that we can have a number of soul mates during our lifetimes and that it's more of a case of Mr Right now than one Mr Right for life.
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Either way, the search is on. Just take a look at the millions of people (including moi) around the world who are hopping online and plugging in their lengthy check lists in the hope that their soul mates will magically pop out in the form of a wink, a date invitation and a lifetime together.
Others spend their free time in bars, nightclubs or at speed dating events in the hope their soul mates will mistakenly knock over their drink, offer to buy them another one and then propose before the night is over.
In fact the soul mate business is so big that in February, The Ultimate Soulmate Summit took place, with thousands of soul mate searchers signing up in the hope of finding true love.
At the summit, 21 self-help gurus got together in cyberspace to guide lonesome souls to finding their perfect match.
Designed to "manifest your soul mate" and to "let go of the walls surrounding your heart" in a 30-day program, the summit also taught rules and made regulations to ensure the lovelorn didn't screw up their chances.
Nauseating? You bet. Desperate? Hell, yes. Did it work? Perhaps it gave hope, but did it bring about "the one" any faster? I doubt it.
Christina Bloom, a New York entrepreneur, says there's another way of doing it. You just need to look for someone with an identical face to your own. That's right, according to her website Facemate (www.findyourfacemate.com), there really is a mathematical equation to finding "the one" using a facial-recognition algorithm that focuses on the eyes, ears, nose, chin, and the corners and centre of the mouth of your potential mate. She uses Heidi Klum and Seal as an example. (Yes, look closely at their facial features and you'll see that they're an identical match.)
Case in point is my girlfriend's romantic story. She's found her soul mate in a man halfway across the world whom she met at his brother's wedding. When she introduced me to him, I was astounded at how similar their faces were. Seriously.
"The heart knows what the heart wants," she wrote in a farewell email to us, telling us about her upcoming departure to go and live in another country with him. They've been dating only a few months. But sometimes, when you know, you just know.
I had dinner with her the other night and, after I complained about another disappointing date, she told me that I'd find the one soon enough. But I wasn't convinced.
"Not everyone gets so lucky," I said. "You can't just assume it's going to happen to everyone."
Maybe I was just being a little cynical. Not to mention jaded, annoyed and bored with the whole dating scene. So I canvassed the opinions of a bunch of married folk to get their thoughts on the matter.
"Is your partner your soul mate?" I asked them. Nine out of 10 said "no".
"We're just too different. But we make it work," was one response.
"I don't believe in that," said another.
Somehow, despite all this, I still believe that it can happen ... to other people. Hence I have come with a soul mate check list ... just in case he magically appears out of nowhere, you will want to know what you're looking for ...
They'll love you for who you are
I spend my days analysing everything to do with dating, mating and relating. I talk to experts and authors and people who have come up with a set of rules and regulations about what to do/say/when to text/call/how to act to nab the guy or girl with tactics and manoeuvres worthy of a military attack. "Be a creature unlike any other" expounds the authors of The Rules. Or "neg" her, put her down and then get any beautiful woman into bed, according to the pick-up artists.
But when you meet your soul mate, all those rules, regulations and game-playing tactics should go out the window. They should embrace you for yourself. And it will be bloody refreshing. You no longer have to worry about not texting them straight back or not calling them at 7am just to tell them you hope they have a great day and are thinking about them in their underwear. Because guess what? The person meant for you likes you more for it.
How to know they're not the right one for you? When you have to question your every move and wonder whether or not something you do will disappoint them, not make yourself seem too eager or watch the timing of every text you send.
They are your best friend
You can tell them anything without fear of censure or judgment. They support and guide you through all your decisions and are there for you through the ups and downs. Soul mates know that chemistry fades and the honeymoon period doesn't last forever. And when you end up spending a lifetime together, you need a strong foundation to fall back on.
You are at the same life stage
Meeting your soul mate is all about timing, whether you like it or not. If you're about to embark on a travel escapade for the next two years and they're ready to settle down and have kids, the timing is off. Perhaps you're just not meant to be. Or perhaps when you're finished with your travelling and they're still single, the stars will align and the two of you will find each other somewhere around the world and things will magically fall into place. Either way you can't force the timing issue, but it sure as hell helps things run smoother.
You feel like you've known each other forever
Whether you've known each other for a couple of weeks like my girlfriend and her new partner, or you've known each other a couple of years, when the two of you are together, it feels like you've known each other for a lifetime. Everything feels so natural, comfortable and brilliant together that you just can't imagine your life apart from them. Or remember a time before they weren't in your life in the first place.
They accept you for who you are
And they don't try to change you. Not one thing about you. They accept your bad (and good) habits, they revel in your foibles and imperfections and they just want to be closer to you on the couch despite your smelly feet or unshaven legs. Now how nice would that be ...
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