"Hard Nipples". That was the number one worldwide "trending topic" on Twitter over the weekend. Seriously. In South Africa, they celebrated "National Cleavage Day". In New York, designer Tom Ford unleashed a provocative new ad campaign for his unisex scent, Neroli Portofino, featuring - you guessed it - hard nipples. In West Hollywood, sex siren and nudist Dita Von Teese stepped out in a black see-through top that featured, well, I don't even have to repeat it.
So what's going on? Why all this fascination, talk and obsession with nipples? (Do I even have to ask?) Have we become a world so obsessed with the female form that men never tire of the subject? Is this all sending out a clear message about the lack of gender inequality? Or is it sexual objectification gone bad? Or is it – as some commentators would like us to believe – a case of female empowerment?
Whichever way you want to look at it, when it comes to sexual objectification – which, according to online dictionary Wikipedia, is "the practice of regarding or treating another person merely as an instrument (object) towards one's sexual pleasure" – it's not only being played out in the media, but in modern-day dating scenarios.
Case in point was the recent conversation I had with a man who confided to me that the minute he looks at a woman, his first thought is usually, "Would I have sex with her?" And his second thought is, "How much is it going to cost me?"
The higher the price, (and by price I'm talking about the time and effort it takes him to get her between his sheets), the more he wants to chase her and the more he values her as a prize he has to win. But even then, there are no guarantees she won't be tossed aside like a used piece of gum the minute he gets what he wants.
So who is to blame? The women? Have modern femmes started playing into the male fantasy a little too much? Is it our fault that too many men are treating too many women like a dessert on a platter?
True, pole-dancing lessons and striptease classes have become the exercise trend du jour; sexy lingerie sales are skyrocketing, we shamelessly buy magazines that urge us to "Please Your Man!", and infamous porn star and entrepreneur Jenna Jameson is looked upon by many as the ultimate businesswoman and female empowerment role model.
But does this all mean that men see us less as future mothers of their children and more as sex objects? And thus treat us as such? And when the heck did things take such a drastic turn?
As feminist author Ariel Levy recently wrote: "Only 30 years (my lifetime) ago, our mothers were 'burning their bras' and picketing Playboy, and suddenly, we were getting implants and wearing the bunny logo as supposed symbols of our liberation. How [has] the culture shifted so drastically in such a short period of time?"
No idea. But I see it everywhere. From text messages between men telling each other, "Hey mate, let's go pick up some easy chicks tonight", to men dating multiple women at once (unbeknown to these women), to tried-and-tested pitch perfect pick-up lines which, if used correctly, will guarantee to make any man get lucky.
For the record, I'm no prude. I'm all for the notion that a little cleavage on display goes a long way, that booty calls are perfectly acceptable (as long as both parties know upfront what they're getting themselves into) and that a little nudity on stage or in an advertising campaign can be provocative, effective and exciting water-cooler conversation.
And, true, all this is nothing knew, either. Women have long been valued mainly for their physical attributes. After all, men are visual creatures who cannot control their animalistic urges. But when it comes to the way so many men treat the women they're supposedly dating, that's where I draw the line.
Too many women I've recently spoken to are not too impressed with the way men speak about the fairer sex or how they act after they've got what they wanted. And too many blokes I speak to seem to have lost all respect for women, using them merely as "instruments" to satiate their pleasure and desires. And when the girl in question starts to question his motivations, suddenly it's her fault for not knowing what she was in for when she acquiesced to his sexual advances.
But as one man recently explained to me, there are simply just too many men out there who will beg, borrow, lie and steal to get a woman into bed. And you can bet your last condom that she's not exactly going to question his motivations at the time, either.
I'm all too aware that all this sexualisation has been sold to us as "empowerment" and that women are told that if they're able to have sex like a man, they're better for it. After all, if men can do it, why can't women?
But the reality is that this just isn't the case. This paradoxical view of sex was brought to my attention through separate conversations with a man and woman at the weekend. While they were in different cities, the parallels are quite astounding ...
Guy: "Went out to a bar to pick up girls. Spotted a hot woman. She had great tits. Thought, 'Great, let's see how far I can take this.'"
Girl: "Went out to a bar. Thought I'd been single so long, it's about time I meet someone. I wouldn't mind starting to date again."
Guy: "Spoke to a girl for a while to see if I could get her number. Made mindless conversation. Made her laugh. She totally bought it."
Girl: "Spoke to a guy for a long time. He was being so sweet. I think he really liked me. Sounded like he had a good job too. Surmised he would make a good boyfriend."
Guy: "God, she wants to talk forever. I wonder if she'll say yes if I ask her to come back to my place for a drink."
Girl: "He wanted to see more of me so he asked for my number. I hope he will call. He seemed really sweet and just the type of guy I've been looking for. Great job, good looking, sweet and funny. And I can't wait to go for dinner. This could be the relationship I've been after!"
Guy: "Damn, she's busy tonight. How much is this going to cost me?"
Girl: "I had to leave, can't wait to see him again!"
Guy: "Damn girl left. Oh well. Oh look, there's another hot chick standing in the corner. Going to go have a crack at her."
Charming indeed. So if men are so sexually driven, and women are more emotionally driven and want relationships and commitment, where does leave the modern generation?
I have no idea ...
So what's going on? Why all this fascination, talk and obsession with nipples? (Do I even have to ask?) Have we become a world so obsessed with the female form that men never tire of the subject? Is this all sending out a clear message about the lack of gender inequality? Or is it sexual objectification gone bad? Or is it – as some commentators would like us to believe – a case of female empowerment?
Whichever way you want to look at it, when it comes to sexual objectification – which, according to online dictionary Wikipedia, is "the practice of regarding or treating another person merely as an instrument (object) towards one's sexual pleasure" – it's not only being played out in the media, but in modern-day dating scenarios.
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Case in point was the recent conversation I had with a man who confided to me that the minute he looks at a woman, his first thought is usually, "Would I have sex with her?" And his second thought is, "How much is it going to cost me?"
The higher the price, (and by price I'm talking about the time and effort it takes him to get her between his sheets), the more he wants to chase her and the more he values her as a prize he has to win. But even then, there are no guarantees she won't be tossed aside like a used piece of gum the minute he gets what he wants.
So who is to blame? The women? Have modern femmes started playing into the male fantasy a little too much? Is it our fault that too many men are treating too many women like a dessert on a platter?
True, pole-dancing lessons and striptease classes have become the exercise trend du jour; sexy lingerie sales are skyrocketing, we shamelessly buy magazines that urge us to "Please Your Man!", and infamous porn star and entrepreneur Jenna Jameson is looked upon by many as the ultimate businesswoman and female empowerment role model.
But does this all mean that men see us less as future mothers of their children and more as sex objects? And thus treat us as such? And when the heck did things take such a drastic turn?
As feminist author Ariel Levy recently wrote: "Only 30 years (my lifetime) ago, our mothers were 'burning their bras' and picketing Playboy, and suddenly, we were getting implants and wearing the bunny logo as supposed symbols of our liberation. How [has] the culture shifted so drastically in such a short period of time?"
No idea. But I see it everywhere. From text messages between men telling each other, "Hey mate, let's go pick up some easy chicks tonight", to men dating multiple women at once (unbeknown to these women), to tried-and-tested pitch perfect pick-up lines which, if used correctly, will guarantee to make any man get lucky.
For the record, I'm no prude. I'm all for the notion that a little cleavage on display goes a long way, that booty calls are perfectly acceptable (as long as both parties know upfront what they're getting themselves into) and that a little nudity on stage or in an advertising campaign can be provocative, effective and exciting water-cooler conversation.
And, true, all this is nothing knew, either. Women have long been valued mainly for their physical attributes. After all, men are visual creatures who cannot control their animalistic urges. But when it comes to the way so many men treat the women they're supposedly dating, that's where I draw the line.
Too many women I've recently spoken to are not too impressed with the way men speak about the fairer sex or how they act after they've got what they wanted. And too many blokes I speak to seem to have lost all respect for women, using them merely as "instruments" to satiate their pleasure and desires. And when the girl in question starts to question his motivations, suddenly it's her fault for not knowing what she was in for when she acquiesced to his sexual advances.
But as one man recently explained to me, there are simply just too many men out there who will beg, borrow, lie and steal to get a woman into bed. And you can bet your last condom that she's not exactly going to question his motivations at the time, either.
I'm all too aware that all this sexualisation has been sold to us as "empowerment" and that women are told that if they're able to have sex like a man, they're better for it. After all, if men can do it, why can't women?
But the reality is that this just isn't the case. This paradoxical view of sex was brought to my attention through separate conversations with a man and woman at the weekend. While they were in different cities, the parallels are quite astounding ...
Guy: "Went out to a bar to pick up girls. Spotted a hot woman. She had great tits. Thought, 'Great, let's see how far I can take this.'"
Girl: "Went out to a bar. Thought I'd been single so long, it's about time I meet someone. I wouldn't mind starting to date again."
Guy: "Spoke to a girl for a while to see if I could get her number. Made mindless conversation. Made her laugh. She totally bought it."
Girl: "Spoke to a guy for a long time. He was being so sweet. I think he really liked me. Sounded like he had a good job too. Surmised he would make a good boyfriend."
Guy: "God, she wants to talk forever. I wonder if she'll say yes if I ask her to come back to my place for a drink."
Girl: "He wanted to see more of me so he asked for my number. I hope he will call. He seemed really sweet and just the type of guy I've been looking for. Great job, good looking, sweet and funny. And I can't wait to go for dinner. This could be the relationship I've been after!"
Guy: "Damn, she's busy tonight. How much is this going to cost me?"
Girl: "I had to leave, can't wait to see him again!"
Guy: "Damn girl left. Oh well. Oh look, there's another hot chick standing in the corner. Going to go have a crack at her."
Charming indeed. So if men are so sexually driven, and women are more emotionally driven and want relationships and commitment, where does leave the modern generation?
I have no idea ...
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