Are modern women settling for Mr Average?

When a survey came out the other day, reported in the Daily Mail, which revealed that all modern women want these days is a Mr Average, my phone started ringing off the hook.

Not from "Mr Averages" wanting a date, but rather from radio stations and media outlets across the country wanting to know whether or not this is true.

"Are women really shunning the traditional tall, dark, handsome male?" many of the hosts asked in astonishment.
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"And does this mean that more and more women are just settling for less?"

Well, no. But a little more on that in a minute. First, let's look at the survey. While we're cautioned not to believe every statistic we read, it seems a OnePoll survey of 3000 women of all ages, sponsored by soft drinks manufacturer Orangina, found some startling facts.

The favourable male on the block apparently these days is no longer the tall, handsome knight who is a young, able, hot-to-trot banker-type.

Instead he is aged between 30 to 45, is five feet, 10 inches tall or less, has dark hair (still a prerequisite?), can cook (ahem), has a job (!) and does something creative or is in the arts.

Seriously. Now, there are a myriad reasons as to why there has been this major shift in the modern female preference for males. Firstly, let's take a look at where the modern blokes are at. The average marriage age for men in Australia in 2001 (according to the ABS) is now 31, up from 26 in 1981.

Which means that not only are more and more women having to stay single a lot longer in order to find a man who is finally willing to commit, but more and more men feel they have a right to play the field for as long as their hearts desire without societal pressures to get hitched for eternity.

This has created a grave new dilemma: the traditional Mr Rights (tall, handsome, successful), are getting way too used to hopping from one woman to another, getting casual sex on the cheap and never having to put in too much effort to getting what they want. This is so much so that, by the time they reach an age suitable for commitment, many don't have the know-how nor the urge to settle down.

One such gent in his 30s confirmed to me many women's worst fears: he's just not interested in settling down with just one person ... ever.

"Why ruin all the fun?" he told me, all the while fielding calls and text messages from a gaggle of women all vying to get into his pants.

Which leaves women with the predicament: where have all the eligible men gone? Perhaps this is the reason the survey found that more women are keen to go for a Mr Average. Maybe this sort of gent doesn't have all the options available to him and is willing to forego a life of "playerdom" for a life of coupledom without fear of consequence or disdain at having to curb his wondering eye.

I don't see these men, to whom modern women are preferring to get hitched, as Mr Averages at all. Nor do I see this as "settling for less" on a woman's part either.

In fact, on closer inspection of men in their 20s and 30s who finally decided to settle down with just one woman, it seems they all had one thing in common: they weren't afraid to "man up" when they met the woman who they felt was right for them.

Instead, they told me they couldn't imagine their lives without her and therefore did everything in their power to get her, keep her and commit to her for the long haul.

"All the hooking up in the world with random women didn't seem worth it to me any more when I met someone who I wanted to put in all my effort with," said Jed, a 29-year-old real-estate agent.

And he bought an engagement ring to prove it.

So is he a Mr Average? I bet not. But the reality is that when a man actually decides to "man up" and go after what he wants without hesitation or fear that his independence might be curtailed, he is to me more of a Mr Right than any of the good-looking players I know.

So perhaps the shift in the dating zeitgeist is not a case of women "settling" for a Mr Average, but rather a case of modern women wising up; refusing to chase players, and never settling for being treated second best ...