Guyland is a mysterious place. It's a land where women have to tiptoe around, being careful not to disturb the peace, making sure we're not doing anything to jeopardise the tranquillity of its inhabitants. We constantly have to make a conscious effort not to do anything too startling - act needy, get attached, fall in love - that might trigger the male mind into thinking that we're trying to pull them out of their euphoria.
The term, coined by sociologist Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, says that these men - a demographic of over 22 million - are obsessed with never wanting to grow up and crave video games, sports and depersonalised sexual relationships.
Which is all fine and well, if it weren't for the fact that many single men don't exactly like to let the woman they're dating in on the fact that their feet are firmly cemented in Guyland with no intention of vacating ... at least not any time soon.
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That is until they reach a certain age, according to Times Online writer Martin Deeson.
He says that until a man reaches the age of 35, there is no reason he should quit his beer-drinking, skirt-chasing, freedom-loving lifestyle where women come and go like bad pop songs and commitment is not on his radar. But it's beyond the age of 35 that men are suddenly forced to face the facts: their Guyland citizenship has passed its used-by-date.
As Deeson writes of his own experience: "At some point you do have to check out of Guyland, and that is what I've done recently, albeit somewhat late in life. At one-minute-to-midnight at the end of my 30s, I swapped hooking up for tidying up, and bragging about drinking for being on the receiving end of nagging about drinking."
He also says that, while many men might fear that this exit might incite fear in the hearts and minds of perpetual Guyland occupants, it's not as bad as one might first think.
"I'd like to say I've made a compromise, a trade-off between freedom and domesticity, but I have to say to all my single brethren: it is not. It's more like swapping a lifestyle that is built for mental ill health for a life of staggering happiness and just the odd row about whose turn it is to pay the cleaner."
The increasing growth in anti-commitment males has meant that the women have had to start wising up.
"Anything that starts with a twent – stay away," says my counsellor friend Jess. "They don't know what they want and, even when they find it, they quickly find an excuse to exit themselves from the situation."
The "thirts" – as she calls men in their 30s, are also a perilous time in a man's life.
"Many of the thirts become extremely accustomed to their freedom and lifestyle. So they look for a woman who will just be happy to slot into their busy schedule. It isn't the ideal situation, either."
Yet contrary to Deeson's hypothesis, many of the men I know have broken this mould. There are men in their 20s who prove to be better long-term prospects than those in their 40s. And there are men over 35 who are so hopeless at commitment, honesty and communicating that you wished you'd never met them in the first place.
So if age is often just a number, then how the heck do you know what type of man you're getting ensconced with? How do you know if they're stuck in Guyland or they've already exited and are now on the hunt for real, lasting love?
After canvassing a bunch of men (and the women who have dated them), it seems there are at least four types of bachelors stuck in Guyland – whom no matter what age they are – might just be sticking around there for all eternity ...
The Toxic Bachelor
He's a master at the game. He knows what to say to rope a woman in, and he knows the exact moment at which he needs to spit her out. The conundrum women face is not being sucked in by his charms or succumbing to his sexual plight. Because, once he's done with you, he's on to the next, and you're left licking your wounds as you ponder why this happened to you and whether all men really are bastards. They're not. But with the toxic bachelors abound, single girls should watch out.
The Career Bachelor
He's a little more difficult to spot, navigate, deal with and get over. While he might be ambivalent about getting a girlfriend at first, once he discovers that she needs a little more attention than he has time to give her, he quickly brushes her off, citing his career as the reason. Sure, he might work long hours and put all his energy into his day job, but time for you? Most likely not. As one of these types recently told me: "I'm avoiding commitment at all costs so that I can focus on my job. Getting a girlfriend means I won't be able to give her or the relationship the respect it deserves."
The City Adventurer
Just as you get involved with him, he's off on an overseas trip, which he conveniently forgot to tell you about when you started dating him. He wants to explore the world, and he wants to do it alone. Or at least not with you by his side. A word of advice: don't wait for him to come home. And stop stalking him on Facebook ...
The Male Spinster
He's the over 40 single dude who doesn't exactly have any intention of settling down any time soon. But while women are intrigued by the other three bachelors, this one isn't exactly envied, but rather pitied. Not that he gives a toss. As one of these 45-year-old types told Gleeson: "I never want to settle down, because why should I? I get older every year, but the chicks stay the same age. I can still pull women in their 20s, and besides, once I've had 'em I don't want to see 'em again; the thrill is in the chase."
George Clooney is one such type. With no signs of ever settling down (he's 50), he once had Nicole Kidman bet him $10,000 that he would be married by 40. He's since mailed her back the cheque saying "Double or nothing for another 10 years." She lost again.
So what's a girl to do? In order to avoid the unhappy cascade of women who fall in love with a man who lives in Guyland, my girlfriend Trish reckons she's discovered the answer: when you start dating any man, give him at least three to four months without bothering him about anything much.
"That means no neediness, no texting, no calling, no complaining about not being a priority in his life," advises Trish. Apparently sometimes this aloof female behaviour is enough to draw him out of Guyland for good.
Of course there are simply some men out there who vow to stay there forever, despite how well the woman plays the game …
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