But when one's tour involves a media entourage and fan club so large it could rival that of Oprah Winfrey's, plus one of the central characters in the sordid story happens to be one of the world's most beautiful women, then someone is bound to get caught out. And the consequences are never going to be pretty.
Case in point is the release of another lascivious tale involving Shane Warne, who this time has been caught locking lips with model and actress Elizabeth Hurley … who is supposedly still married. Eek.
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Yet it seemed that instead of calling her husband, Indian businessman Arun Nayar, after the story broke, Liz got on to Twitter (as all celebrities seem to do these days) and tweeted that her relationship with Nayar had long been over and that only her "close family and friends were aware of this".
Whether or not this statement is true, the real question she should be addressing is this: why the heck would she choose to hook up with Warne as her rebound? Really? Because I can't exactly imagine Warnie being the type of emotional (or physical, or mental) rock that someone might need when they're in the throes of a marital breakdown.
In fact, I'm not exactly quite sure when Warnie became such an in-demand stud. But my gut tells me that it wasn't his good looks that got him laid.
You see, when women are experiencing a relationship break-down and feel extremely low, they become more susceptible to a Don Juan's womanising ways. After all, he knows all the right things to say, how to touch her hair ever so gently so she feels as if they're the only two people in the room, and he knows when exactly to call (and not to call) to make her desperately hanker after him. He would have acted smoothly, stealthily, strategically. And it must have worked because, if rumours have it, Warnie has just spent two days (one session lasting 11 hours) holed up with one of the world's most gorgeous actresses.
I know how these men work because I've experienced it: being on the tail-end of a break-up, you suddenly find yourself going for men who you know aren't anywhere near your standards, but you think: "What the heck?" Because, after all, you're so lonely, vulnerable and a bona fide mess that you rationalise that anyone will do, as long as he is semi-nice to you, has a job and looks nothing like your ex.
Hurley's excuse might have been that she was "on tour" when she met Warne (six months ago at the races) … that she was travelling to Australia and was extremely lonely without her husband and kids and that she was just seeking some comfort. Which Warnie himself would certainly know a thing or two about. As he told tabloids when his own marriage was breaking down (the first time): "When you're lonely and you're away for six months, things sometimes just happen and then you regret it afterwards and you think 'you idiot' … But it's very hard being on the road. It's very lonely."
For men, there's actually a scientific explanation as to why they need play around while they're on tour. The journal Personality and Individual Differences reported that a man's sperm count doubles when he's away from his partner, going from 389 million sperm per ejaculation to 712 million. Which is a heck of a lot of extra sperm, if you ask me.
But for women? Well, it can only be emotionally fuelled, as most things are with us anyway.
But back to what happens on tour. How often it "happens" no one can be sure (though I'm sure credit card companies get a laugh out of perusing bills and fielding irate calls from concerned wives), but I can't imagine it's all that rare.
Of course this sort of rowdy behaviour on tour isn't new and it's been getting on for 40 years since an overseas rugby union team visited England and decided to create this secretive code in the hope of covering up and excusing their unruly behaviour.
The trouble these days, however, is that everyone has mobile phones with cameras and no one is afraid to use them, Facebook them, tweet them and put them on YouTube … sometimes minutes after the transgression has taken place. Which means that what happens on tour no longer stays on tour. Sorry Liz. (Although no doubt Warnie is revelling in all the attention.)
So the lesson is that with the silly season just around the corner and many of your spouses leaving the country without you, perhaps you'd better watch your behaviour (and your back) if you don't want to be dumped. Because I'm not so sure Warnie is available to be your rebound either ...
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