It seems to me that it's the season for break-ups. Megan and Andy. Scarlett and Ryan. Liz and Arun. My long-term boyfriend and I. Sigh. Something about the jolly season makes many stand up, take a stand and decide that they want their lives to move in different directions without having to play it nice with their partner around the Christmas table.
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I'm not the only one noticing this trend. According to a new Facebook survey (apparently the new litmus test for everything) which was carried out by David McCandless and Lee Byron who tracked the words "break up" and "broken up" across 10,000 status updates, splits spike dramatically two weeks before Christmas Day.
But what about when the new year rings in and suddenly you realise you've got no one to pash when the clock strikes midnight? Or to take to your cousin's wedding? Or to complain to when the dishes aren't done, the toilet paper runs out or your boss makes you miserable?
"You always break up for a reason so there's no point in getting back together," a pregnant, married lady said the other night as the rest of us (singles) sat sipping mojitos, talking about our failed relationships.
"You'll never get back together with your ex," she snapped at one of the girls who sat contemplating doing just that … after a two-year hiatus.
"It just doesn't work," she continued.
I wanted to argue, to tell her that I see it all the time; couples who do indeed take a break from each other and then, through some weird twist of fate (or a bout of horniness), decide to jump back into their relationships for better or for worse.
"It's so familiar. It just works!" they say.
"We needed the time to realise how much we love each other."
"You don't realise what you've got until it's gone."
While I'm under no illusions about why people break up, I still think that getting back together sometimes isn't such a bad idea. You both get a chance to grow (separately), to change the things about yourself that you got dumped for (that is if you listened to all their reasons for giving you the flick and do something to change yourself) and, all the while, you get to shag whomever you want to your heart's content while not feeling guilty.
"But the same problems will just arise again," many say, dismissing the idea that it could ever work.
"You quickly realise why you broke up and then you have to go through the pain all over again," say others who've tried the ex-rerun to a result of doom and gloom.
It's sad to think that, while you invest so much of your time, energy and physical being into another person, at the end you both tend dub the relationship a "complete waste of time" as regrets abound.
But perhaps, as He's Not That Into You author Greg Brehrendt says: "It's called a break-up because it's broken."
And it's not that bad when you start evaluating yourself either.
Talking about the glass ceiling
Another year, another analysis of where women are at when it comes to the glass ceiling. This time it's been discovered that 2010 brought about little change or advancement to a woman's status in the corporate boardroom ... in the US at any rate. A study looking at the annual filings made by Fortune 500 companies revealed that 136 of them had no female executives, with women holding just 14.4 per cent of the executive officer positions in 2010. Let's hope for an increase in this stat next year. …
Talking about Oprah
I get it now. Oprah Winfrey fever, that is. While being invited to the taping of her show on Tuesday morning didn't exactly fill me with excitement, I was nevertheless intrigued. And after a few minutes, I quickly realised what all the fuss was about.
Winfrey often deals with extremely shallow subject matter, such as celebrity issues, but how she does it is with extreme class, finesse and realness.
Her first guest, Russell Crowe, didn't just harp on about his yacht, his acting career and his celebrity status (although he did slip in that people at the Opera House wouldn't let him in as they didn't recognise him), but Winfrey encouraged him to talk about his dreams as a young boy desperate for his favourite football team - the South Sydney Rabbitohs - to be on top.
He told her how grateful he was that he could now be part of the team to try to make that happen. He also said he was so passionate about it because he believed that sporting heroes were all about inspiring children to make a difference and strive to be the best they could.
When Jay-Z - rapper, bad boy, billionaire – took to the stage, what could have been a very shallow interview actually brought me (and half the audience) to tears. Encouraged by Winfrey, Jay-Z visited Canterbury Boys High School to inspire the underprivileged kids, while Winfrey got Microsoft to donate $1 million worth of laptops and upgrades to the school. You should have heard the boys scream with delight.
I felt so proud to be an Australian when she spoke about the kindness and generosity of every person she's met so far on her whirlwind tour. Was the taxpayers' expenditure to bring the talk-show queen Down Under worth it? According to O, we'll never know how much value four hours of a "lovefest" of Australia will do for our country, our economy and our tourism industry since her show spans 150 countries on every continent on the planet. I hope that's the case ...
Final word for today on a few subjects I felt I needed to address ...
I love the banter, comments and immense support I get from readers of this column. I wake up each day and am excited to get an email or a text message from someone saying that they read something I wrote and it changed their perspective on their relationships. Or, if they're having a relationship conundrum, I am grateful that they ask me to put their topic to my dear readers to gain some perspective on their lives.
I've had a rough year. I try not to allude to it too often on this blog, which I want to be a collection of responses from readers to the news or their relationships, rather than a soppy story about my life.
For the record (and in response to many of the comments from a column the other day), I love men. They are my best friends, my bosses, my family and my colleagues. I listen as they tell me their real feelings, thoughts and emotional ups and downs and I am grateful they are so often willing to give me their insights.
Sure, I raise issues on this blog that may make it seem as if I feel quite the opposite, but let me assure you I do it only because I want to bring up topics of interest and let other people respond to them through the prism of their own feelings and experiences.
Often, when I write about a topic, readers tell me they've experienced something similar and that reading about it draws the sting for them so they can get on with their lives.
Sure, some people (OK, many people) think that talking about dating and relationships is a frivolous topic, but listen to any conversation anywhere in the world at any time of the day or night and you can rest assured that talk will eventually turn to partnerships, love lives, lost loves and everything in between.
My aim is never to offend, but always to entertain, enlighten and to invite discussion. So in light of all that, always feel free to email me with any queries, questions or topic suggestions … and may 2011 bring you all the love and happiness you deserve.
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