Last week The Atlantic magazine came out with a cover story that says women are struggling to find men because all blokes these days are either "deadbeats" or "playboys".
Kate Bolick, 39, the never-married writer of the story (which has made major waves online, with the men recoiling and the women applauding), says that, with the disruption to the romantic market because of the "explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men's life prospects, a woman's search for a man is rendered hopeless".
Hopeless? Really? While I have to disagree with her (it only takes meeting one remarkable bloke to change one's mind), on the flip side, many single blokes have realised that so many women share Bolick's sentiment.
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Single, randy men have discovered that, with so many of these "hopeless" women desperate to get hitched to just about anyone, their chances of a pick-up have never been easier.
Hence the smart (sly?) blokes have figured out that all they need to do to stand out from the deadbeat crowd is express a simple sentiment: tell the women they meet they want to settle down as quickly as possible.
You see, when a man tells a woman that he wants to settle down, get married and have kids ... and tells her on the first night, on the first date or very early on in the courtship process (yes, it happens), it's like balm to a woman's ears.
Suddenly she's thinking that Bolick's argument is utter bollocks.
"I've finally met a man who wants to settle down right now!" she says in glee. "Who said anything about deadbeats or playboys? There are marriage-minded men out there after all. Hooray!"
But, ladies, beware. He could be using the newest form of "bait 'n' hook" on the dating block – the new, fool-proof pick-up line that modern men have realised will be guaranteed to get them attention, a second date and, most importantly, to get them laid the fastest.
If you think about it, it's a brilliant modus operandi. Simply tell a woman you want to settle down as quickly as possible and she'll be like putty in your hands. Panties will fly off, text messages declaring her love will incessantly beep into your iPhone and you'll be hailed the new male hero of the decade.
You are the knight in shining armour who has arrived to save her from her sad, sorry, single life and all her problems are instantly solved thanks to you swooping in.
Examples I've recently heard being tossed around by these supposedly marriage-minded Prince Charmings include: "I want to get married"; "I'm extremely picky"; "I can't wait to have children"; "I'm tired of the dating game"; "I just want to settle down already" and so on.
But, alas, the promises from these seemingly eager men do not exactly ever come to fruition.
"I want to get married" quickly turns to "I just want a casual sex relationship but since I'm the perfect guy and might one day want to get married, you should stick around … you could be the lucky one I choose when I eventually do!"
And, all too suddenly, the female lone rangers are back to being just that … alone and at home on a Saturday night, eating dinner for one.
So how do you know if a man is being truthful or deceitful?
Bolick says that the telltale sign is to look at his bank balance. "The more successful a man is (or thinks he is), the less interested he is in commitment," she writes.
But I disagree. In fact, of the many blokes I've interviewed, it mostly appears that the more successful they are and the more they feel they have got to the point in their lives at which they are financially stable enough to support and provide for a family, the more they feel they are finally ready to commit and the more serious (and real) they are about it all.
Bolick then says that another key, telltale sign as to whether or not a guy is fibbing about his supposed non-existent commitment-phobia is his age. Bolick calls it "Marriage O'Clock": the point at which a man hits 35 and "suddenly, desperately, wants a wife".
Or so these 35-plus men say. But again I wonder if these men really stand by the things they say.
I can only imagine a man of that age becomes so used to his freedom, autonomy and rampant sex life, that there's no need for him to spread half his time, his house and his income on a woman … for the rest of his life.
I can also imagine that the likes of George Clooney et al have finessed the fine art of the female pick-up and know exactly what to say about their stance on marriage, commitment and their plans ("with you in it!") in order to get women in bed.
My thoughts? Women should smarten the hell up and start to think not whether the man wants to get married and if she's good enough to be the one he picks, but whether or not he is actually worthy of her and whether or not he is marriage material. Because most often, those who shout the loudest usually have the emptiest arguments ...
What do you think?
PS. I'm also pretty sure that there are women who also put an argument with no merit or truth to it, telling a man they're happy to be ensconced in a "friends with benefits" situation when in reality they want nothing of the sort. Instead many attempt to weasel their way into his heart, only to get better and jaded when he recoils at the thought of something more serious.
Either way, in my books, there's simply no room for deception in a relationship. If someone isn't being honest about their intentions, and instead are manipulating, lying or not being real, they're simply not worth your time in the first place ...
Have a great weekend and happy dating!
