Ye Mere Deewanapan Hai I Sophia Abella

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sophia Abella: Confessions Of An Enigma: Conquer And Divide

I am fairly secure in what I want from life and love. I've been fortunate in life to have known love, and have some wonderful memories and experiences that I have drawn upon over the years. And as such, it does allow me the ability to share with someone what I feel, think and even dream for in finding a mate. I am a realist by design, and a true romantic by nature. In being so, it has given me a view of the world and my part within that allows me to see what is possible and to envision what could be. To know I can be comfortable in myself sexually and to share openly that I am uninhibited, forthright and impassioned.

Seems only to look, discover and decide that if that one special person comes into my life, I can share with him earnestly and even specifically those things that I see to be what would necessitate a true, real and honest connection. While also having the capacity to give and receive kindred passions and romance. Even further with others thoughts about the alternation of acquiescence and ascendance that I, too, share the idea, understanding and excitement of finding man who can share such pleasures for a lifetime with me. For I gain my pleasure from pleasing my lover; and to find a man who would be this way in kind would be the true pinnacle were it to belong to a love everlasting. I'm am quite receptive to sharing my thoughts and desires when it comes to this subject; so feel free to ask any questions or thoughts regarding this with me.

From my past experiences and heartbreak I have come to also be cautious with whom I'll make such a deep and total commitment to when it comes to a lifelong relationship. Though I've enjoyed connecting with others and have shared many thoughts and dreams, I am not one who will simply start professing affection or more to merely seek out the same in return. However, when the moment arrives when there is a connection that surpasses and engulfs me in a manner that shows there are the passions of love developing, then he could evermore be assured that no other would ever come into my life. I am someone who knows only how to love one man, and only to love totally and completely.....for a lifetime means to give all of me to "him" holding nothing back and expecting and needing the same from him. Yes honesty and open communication are essential to any relationship. Realizing that life and people are not perfect is mandatory.
All we can hope for to attain true happiness is confidence in ourselves and each other no matter how difficult it is at times. The world is a very unforgiving place but as long as we know that our intentions come from the heart without malice we can find happiness. We just need someone to share that with. Any relationship is a compromise but when two people find someone that complements their existence and brings meaning to their lives true compatibility. In today's society it is easy to be overcome by outside influences and prejudices but two people that are truly compatible can battle and overcome these sometimes overbearing odds. Sex is the ultimate union of closeness between two people that can be enjoyed and fulfill everyone's innermost mental and physical desires. I know it is hard to find genuine people with real, honest emotions but we must strive for it because if not, all hope is lost.

http://www.asiancemagazine.com/2011/10/30/confessions-of-an-enigma-conquer-and-divide-

Bait 'n' Hook: beware the deadbeat in disguise

Last week The Atlantic magazine came out with a cover story that says women are struggling to find men because all blokes these days are either "deadbeats" or "playboys".

Kate Bolick, 39, the never-married writer of the story (which has made major waves online, with the men recoiling and the women applauding), says that, with the disruption to the romantic market because of the "explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men's life prospects, a woman's search for a man is rendered hopeless".

Hopeless? Really? While I have to disagree with her (it only takes meeting one remarkable bloke to change one's mind), on the flip side, many single blokes have realised that so many women share Bolick's sentiment.
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Single, randy men have discovered that, with so many of these "hopeless" women desperate to get hitched to just about anyone, their chances of a pick-up have never been easier.

Hence the smart (sly?) blokes have figured out that all they need to do to stand out from the deadbeat crowd is express a simple sentiment: tell the women they meet they want to settle down as quickly as possible.

You see, when a man tells a woman that he wants to settle down, get married and have kids ... and tells her on the first night, on the first date or very early on in the courtship process (yes, it happens), it's like balm to a woman's ears.

Suddenly she's thinking that Bolick's argument is utter bollocks.

"I've finally met a man who wants to settle down right now!" she says in glee. "Who said anything about deadbeats or playboys? There are marriage-minded men out there after all. Hooray!"

But, ladies, beware. He could be using the newest form of "bait 'n' hook" on the dating block – the new, fool-proof pick-up line that modern men have realised will be guaranteed to get them attention, a second date and, most importantly, to get them laid the fastest.

If you think about it, it's a brilliant modus operandi. Simply tell a woman you want to settle down as quickly as possible and she'll be like putty in your hands. Panties will fly off, text messages declaring her love will incessantly beep into your iPhone and you'll be hailed the new male hero of the decade.

You are the knight in shining armour who has arrived to save her from her sad, sorry, single life and all her problems are instantly solved thanks to you swooping in.

Examples I've recently heard being tossed around by these supposedly marriage-minded Prince Charmings include: "I want to get married"; "I'm extremely picky"; "I can't wait to have children"; "I'm tired of the dating game"; "I just want to settle down already" and so on.

But, alas, the promises from these seemingly eager men do not exactly ever come to fruition.

"I want to get married" quickly turns to "I just want a casual sex relationship but since I'm the perfect guy and might one day want to get married, you should stick around … you could be the lucky one I choose when I eventually do!"

And, all too suddenly, the female lone rangers are back to being just that … alone and at home on a Saturday night, eating dinner for one.

So how do you know if a man is being truthful or deceitful?

Bolick says that the telltale sign is to look at his bank balance. "The more successful a man is (or thinks he is), the less interested he is in commitment," she writes.

But I disagree. In fact, of the many blokes I've interviewed, it mostly appears that the more successful they are and the more they feel they have got to the point in their lives at which they are financially stable enough to support and provide for a family, the more they feel they are finally ready to commit and the more serious (and real) they are about it all.

Bolick then says that another key, telltale sign as to whether or not a guy is fibbing about his supposed non-existent commitment-phobia is his age. Bolick calls it "Marriage O'Clock": the point at which a man hits 35 and "suddenly, desperately, wants a wife".

Or so these 35-plus men say. But again I wonder if these men really stand by the things they say.

I can only imagine a man of that age becomes so used to his freedom, autonomy and rampant sex life, that there's no need for him to spread half his time, his house and his income on a woman … for the rest of his life.

I can also imagine that the likes of George Clooney et al have finessed the fine art of the female pick-up and know exactly what to say about their stance on marriage, commitment and their plans ("with you in it!") in order to get women in bed.

My thoughts? Women should smarten the hell up and start to think not whether the man wants to get married and if she's good enough to be the one he picks, but whether or not he is actually worthy of her and whether or not he is marriage material. Because most often, those who shout the loudest usually have the emptiest arguments ...

What do you think?

PS. I'm also pretty sure that there are women who also put an argument with no merit or truth to it, telling a man they're happy to be ensconced in a "friends with benefits" situation when in reality they want nothing of the sort. Instead many attempt to weasel their way into his heart, only to get better and jaded when he recoils at the thought of something more serious.

Either way, in my books, there's simply no room for deception in a relationship. If someone isn't being honest about their intentions, and instead are manipulating, lying or not being real, they're simply not worth your time in the first place ...

Have a great weekend and happy dating!