Do you use condoms?

A girl I know is pregnant. And has an STD. Why? Because the bloke she is bonking (who is considerably older than her), refuses to use condoms. And she refuses to go on the pill. Hence they succumbed to using the "pull out and pray" method. Which didn't exactly go to plan. So now she's faced with a dilemma: to keep the baby, or not.

Abortions are tough, often resulting in serious mental and physical repercussions. I've gone through the process with a number of girlfriends – one who was in a serious long-term relationship and whose boyfriend demanded she do it. Another who found herself pregnant after a one-night stand. And a third who felt she wasn't equipped to handle a child just yet, and still blames herself to this day for doing it – 10 years on.

While the number of abortions in isn't known exactly, an estimate in 2005 was about 70,000 to 80,000.
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Sure there are accidents, mistakes, missed contraception, drunken nights and broken condoms. But when a man refuses to use protection for no reason other than it inhibits his pleasure, is it really fair on the women? Hell no.

When women tell me they're having unprotected sex because of this very reason, and so are facing a pregnancy scare, I'm flabbergasted. It sounds ludicrous. They say they'd rather please their man, who says he "hates" condoms, than protect themselves. Say what!?

In a time in which STDs, STIs and unwanted pregnancies are running rife, where casual sex is on the menu and fidelity cannot be assumed in every relationship, it seems odd that so many people don't even bother. And that scares me mightily.

"At least use them if you're going to sleep with someone else," a woman I know once told her boyfriend who refused to wear them with her. "If you're not going to use protection with me, at least don't put me in danger if you're going to cheat."

That's the same approach taken by women in Nepal when they decided to send condoms to their husbands who were working overseas in the hope of protecting their men from sexually transmitted diseases. Which might not be such a bad idea, considering these men are gone for months at a time, then come home to their wives.

But back to the condom debate.

To debunk the myth that all condoms are bad, uncomfortable, smell like rubber and make sex feel like you're doing something disorderly with a plastic bag, a couple, who are students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, have decided to try out every type of condom and write a blog about their experiences (as you do).

The two - who go by the names of Tom and Veronica - say they're fascinated by the myriad condoms out there, are helping humankind with their ratings system and are making love, all in the name of science.

From vegan condoms to studded condoms to glow in the dark condoms (dubbed by them as "perfect if you're feeling adventurous") the two are aiming to go through 244 condoms.

So far, the verdicts aren't all that bad either.

So perhaps next time a man tells you he's not sleeping with you unless he can go bare-backed, you might want to refer him to their blog "Condom Science". Or to his local GP ...

I always used to say that if you put the use of condoms in the hands of women, we'd all be better off. And yet that plan seems to have failed miserably ...

The sex you should have before settling down

Let's face it: many (or some) of you are going to settle down with one person sometime in the near future. And that means no more frivolous sex with random strangers, one-night stands or wasting time with relationships that are seemingly going nowhere just so you can have some regular late-night nookie.

But here's a quick question: have you had sex with enough people yet?

There's something awkward about being asked this question in a world in which one-night stands are nothing to be sniffed at and casual sex is as common as a walk to the grocery store (or at least for the lucky ones).
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So, while your "magic number" was once a brilliant indication of your pick-up skills, the potency of your pheromones or the lowness of your standards, these days the number is nothing more than just that – a number.

Yet, says Clio Cresswell, an Aussie mathematician and author who decided to combine her love of maths with her penchant for sex, you shouldn't dismiss your number just yet.

Because, she says, there is a mathematical equation when it comes to how many people you should have sex with before you settle down if indeed you want to find "the one".

That's right ladies and gents, the mathematician has turned her numerical obsession towards sex and has come up with this very simple formula: the 12 Bonk Rule.

The 12 Bonk Rule says you should have 12 partners before you pick the next best after that with whom to settle down.

Why? I'm not exactly sure how she came up with that number, but she swears that 12 sexual partners are enough for you to compare their good points, know what you want out of your future partner and then leave you better equipped to pick the next best lover after that. Also, she says that the formula gives a 75 per cent success rate of producing a perfect match. So what have you got to lose other than a few inhibitions?

I haven't reached 12. Which means that, even if the next one I meet is indeed "the one", I've still got a long way to go. (God, it's getting hot in here!) So, in lieu of helping you to reach the appropriate Bonk Rule number, I've cobbled together a list of some of the types of people everyone should have sex with before they settle down. Feel free to add to the list ...

Sex with a foreigner

One of my girlfriends is obsessed with Italian men. Another loves Lebanese. A third only likes to do the French. While I used to look at these women and wonder if they were simply stuck in a rut while in a fantasy world where commitment wasn't on the table - just good sex, sexy accents and even sexier bodies – after reading about the 12 Bonk Rule, I'm beginning to think that having sex with a foreigner is just a rite of passage – an experience one must have to fulfil the sexual quota.

Sex with a player / celebrity / model / actor

They're hot, they're in demand, they have a body to die for and they know what they're doing, thanks to the extensive practice they've had from all the willing suitors lining up around their corner from their bachelor(ette) pad. You get tingles just thinking about them, never mind finding yourself in their bed sans underwear. Just don't expect a follow-up session anytime ... ever. Oh, and always use protection.

The massive age-gap sex

Sex with someone much younger or many older is an experience to be had … if only to say you've done it. Men rant and rave about how brilliant it is to nab a much older woman (see Ashton Kutcher), women give glowing reviews about the energy and sexual prowess of younger men (see Ivana Trump) and everyone feels a little naughty at the prospect of doing the dirty with someone entirely inappropriately aged. Just avoid the under-aged!

The nice guy

Having sex with the nice guy is a must. You have to know what it's like to be treated nicely, be respected, have him call you the next day and not feel like a tramp who was used for a quick orgasm followed by a hasty goodbye. Nice guys are warm and fuzzy and make you realise what you could have if indeed you were that into him. Just try not to break any hearts along the way.

Your teenage crush

You know the person you were lusting after since childhood and never got the chance to date because you were too fat / pimply / shy? Well now is your chance to get them into the sack and get it out of your system. While you know it's entirely wrong and they no longer have the appeal they did when they were the high school jock or the hottest chick in your class, at least you will finally get to satiate your lust for them.

Your best friend / your ex / your flatmate

While this group of people are supposed to be the ones you stay away from, if you think you can handle it (or need to increase your quota), go ahead and get sexy in their presence. Make sure you're in a good mental place beforehand, though, and that you can handle the consequences (there are bound to be many) and that you're really hard up for numbers before you contemplate accepting that third glass of wine and then making your move. Don't say I didn't warn you about this one ...